I’ve been sitting on this one for awhile, not quite ready to put the pictures and words together. Not sure I really want to convince myself that this is the new normal for our family.

If you asked me my favorite place in the world, I would probably say Tahiti. Or anywhere with my Ian. And then I’d say at Monnie’s, my grandmother’s house in Arkansas. As a kid, we spent almost every holiday at Monnie’s house. We stayed for weeks during the summertime. Families were squeezed in all over the place, and lots of us kids slept on mattresses placed in every spare inch of bedroom floor space so 20+ could sleep in the house for a holiday. I would stay up way too late into the night talking with my cousins and sleep late the next day. We would swim in the pool, fish in the pond, play pool and eat like crazy.

Even into adulthood, I spent most of my Christmases at her house surrounded by lots of family. I’ve marked both my babies’ heights on the door facing in her laundry room as they’ve grown. The kids and I always made a trip in the spring and another in the fall. I loved getting to watch them gather for meals in the same kitchen I did as a child. To hear the sound of them running their hands along the paneled hallway on their way to the yellow bathroom just as I have so many times throughout my life. I loved getting to hear my grandmother sing songs throughout the day but most especially in the morning when I was up making breakfast for my early risers. I sing “Good Morning Merry Sunshine” to my daughter most mornings because of Monnie.

Over the years, the gatherings have been smaller as families grew and changed. The last few years, most of us have gathered for her birthday on April 1st. At one point, we’ve had 5 generations in the house together at the same time! The virus made that impossible this year on her 99th birthday. Her church family gave her a birthday parade, and I loved watching it on Facebook.

I had hoped we’d have at least one more birthday to celebrate, but in May, we gathered one more time, to surround her with our love and say thank you and to say goodbye. It’s been awhile since we’ve ALL been together like that. It definitely felt weird in the time of the virus; it was hard to know if we should go. But I felt like I had to be there, I had to gather with these people one more time at my Monnie’s house.

I know I was lucky to have her for so long. I don’t know many people my age that still have a grandparent alive. I was fortunate to go back to her home and relive the sights and sounds and food of my childhood several times every year. I’ll miss her terribly. Family gatherings will never be the same. We will likely never all be together sleeping under one roof again, 20+ people sharing 3 bathrooms! It’s really hard how life changes sometimes. I cherish those moments.

I am so grateful that I picked up my camera to document our time there. Here is a sample of pictures I have taken the last few years during visits to her house, and a video I did (quite a few years ago!) while first learning video. I have a gazillion more. Life will never be the same. I miss her dearly.